THE NO SIN ZONE

I’m fascinated by the rebranding of products that goes on in this ever-resourceful, credulous, crumbling America of ours.  John McCain, a selfish, spoiled, name-dropping chatterbox, who simply couldn’t stop yapping to the North Vietnamese, is rebranded a selfless hero.  Sarah Palin, a lying pathological narcissist, is improbably rebranded as, well, sane. And Barrack Obama, someone who made his start being kind to the poor, is rebranded an anti-Jesus terrorist!  Well, honestly, if we Republicans can successfully rebrand Jesus himself as a bellicose materialist, is anyone truly safe from an inventive Madison Avenue make-over?

What is most entertaining about John McCain and Sarah Palin is that they don’t wait for someone else to rebrand them; they are too busy marketing themselves. And they prefer their slogans as vivid as they are simple.  Barracuda!  Hero!  Pit-bull! Maverick!  It’s a conceited — and cynical — undertaking. It is also a patronizing acknowledgement of a rather base base, which prefers a good story to a real one.

In the desperate throes of ineptitude and the toxic backwash of the frenzied hatred and racism they have coyly set in motion, Palin/McCain [sic.] have turned their hobby of repackaging on their opponent. And it’s getting rather uncomfortable to watch.  And if you think what they say in public is unseemly and shocking, just wait until you see the stuff they didn’t release, on an exclusive copy of their campaign attack ad bloopers:

 

Have you seen the cozy little ads on TV by The American Petroleum Institute, the lobbying arm of Big Oil?  They feature a Meredith Viera wannabe, who strolls about a canyon of enormous, misleading slogans.  She purrs fun petro-facts, all in an attempt to make Americans feel almost downright lucky to be financially raped by, say, ExxonMobil, a company that squeaked through the gas crisis by making $4,635,845.00/hour in profit last year!

Well, in the interest of honesty — and never overlooking an opportunity to be snide, — I reedited those ads to make them a bit more candid.  Watching it, you will have a taste for what it would be like to live in a world where businesses — and politicians — told the truth once in a while . . .

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Now your whole family can joyously sing along to Betty and Jesus’ inspiring song.

Our international ambassador of funk was in Liberia today, getting his grove on. You can see the CNN video here, but I still prefer this one from Malaria Awareness Day last year, simply for its wonderfully hilarious awkwardness. It’s like watching hillbillies on meth jiving in front of the Zenith TV to Soul Train:

And for any of you hillbillies out there who really are high, you might enjoy this Brenda Dickson remix of our Glorious President making a fool of himself — in another country for a change.

Can any of you dear people tell me which is the real Brendad Ickson and which is that nefarious Deven Green? I’m almost certain that the woman with the monotone voice and Mae-West-in-Sextette hair is the real Miss Ickson. One thing is clear: Miss Dickson does not wish to do daytime TV. So don’t ask. Not that anyone has . . .