Loose Change

8th January 2008

posted in Mormons and their wives, Cross-dressing former mayors, Rudy Giuliani, flip-flopping magical undie wearers called Romney, my superior values, gasing up your Bentley, True Chistian Politics |

Anyone unfortunate enough to listen to presidential politics will realize that there is only one thing upon which the candidates can all agree: 2008’s magic incantation for votes is “C-H-A-N-G-E.” Just slap the word “change” on a bus or some old promises we heard 4 years ago – and 4, 8, 12 and 16 years before that! – and, suddenly, talking about Carter-Era “alternative fuels” becomes revolutionary.

“Change” is a contagious meme so virulent it has spread to those who are often resistant to changing even their underwear (especially if they are magical): Republicans. During the last debates, a Mormon Mannequin in said magic undies, a cross-dressing Former Mayor and one of the few Republicans who has actually been on the painful end of torture all tried to use the word “change” as if it was a poker chip in a furious, drunken game of Texas Hold‘em.

Change! Change. Change! CHANGE! Frankly, it’s all become a bit mechanical and contrived. I don’t know about you, but I treat my votes like I treat my party invitations: I want people to work for them! Unlike Tom Cruise, I’m not some mindless robot preprogrammed to exhibit a Pavlovian response to a focus-group-approved buzz word. And, frankly, being expected to is rather insulting.

CHANGE! Change isn’t always good. Just ask Meg Ryan’s mirror. But after the past seven years of willful ineptitude, the Oval Office would undergo a positive change if it were commandeered by a pet rock, to trot out yet one more banal chestnut from the Carter Era. OK, let’s have change. But let’s start by changing the buzzword!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 8th, 2008 at 4:32 pm and is filed under Mormons and their wives, Cross-dressing former mayors, Rudy Giuliani, flip-flopping magical undie wearers called Romney, my superior values, gasing up your Bentley, True Chistian Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There are currently 2 responses to “Loose Change”

Why not let Betty & Jesus know what you think by adding your own comment? Your opinion is as valid as anyone else not called "Mrs. Betty Bowers", so come on... it's not as if stupidity ever stopped anyone on the Internet from using their keyboard, dear.

1 On January 8th, 2008, OMGILUVBETTY! said:
Dearest Betty:

If you aren’t the most prescient political writer on the scene today, I don’t know who is! It aint’ David Brooks. Jesus, I love you Betty (i use jesus as an exclamatory device, not a reverential one), cuz you tell it like it is, has been, and ever more shall be. Keep writing, and I hope/pray that you go mainstream, especially if Mittsie Gaynomore Romney gets the nomination. You are right on about McCain. After New Hampshire, he’ll be chosen first for dodgeball by the Hoary Headed Money Loving Right Thinking Patriarchs of the Republican Party, cuz the Big Republican Tent doesn’t want evangelical clowns, just funny rich comedians. And God knows, how could Huckabee win if his bovine family begins showing up at events. Luv ya. Keep on telling the truth.

A Righteous Response from America’s Best Christian:

Thank you for your kind words, dear.

posted on January 8th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
2 On January 9th, 2008, Aunt Estelle said:
Betty Dearest:

Greetings from Mossy Oaks Maximum Security Christian Retirement Center!

Thank you, Sweetie, for having the Christian Cahunas to call for changing the word ‘change.’ I believe this is the changing of the change for which most decent Americans yearn.

I’m concerned that only 11% of New Hampshirians voted for the Huckabee/Jesus ticket. This means 89% percent of them will burn in hell for eternity, or a similarly torturous fate, like having to push the Huckabee sons uphill for eternity only to watch them roll back down again.

And speaking of change, I must go now. They’re handing out free Depends at the front desk and I want to get a few before Senator McCain snarfs them all up.

PEACE! - Estelle

A righteous response from America’s Best Christian:

“This means 89% percent of them will burn in hell for eternity”

After living in New Hampshire, one has to wonder if they will notice the transition, dear.

posted on January 9th, 2008 at 3:01 pm