Dear Mrs. Bowers:

I thought you would be interested in the controversy that has been raging in the Charlotte, NC newspapers this week as to the proper Christian diet for Easter. See the attached letters to the editor from this week's newspaper. Jesus, a Jew and an adherent of the Hebrew scriptures, was forbidden from eating pork by biblical commandment. Isn't it ironic that Christians celebrate the anniversary of his death by eating an Easter ham?

I, of course, defer to your insight into the matter. However, apparently these singularly misguided individuals seem to forget that Jesus would not be eating much of anything on Easter because he would have no need for food. Resurrected, yes, but otherwise no need for corporal sustenance. His sister Lurlene (according to the Book of Frank) could perhaps have fixed a nice Easter spread, but Jesus would have been otherwise occupied with making travel plans for ascending into heaven and sitting on God's right hand.

Only in Charlotte....

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