Dear Mrs. Bowers:

I sympathize with the fashion dilemmas of Mrs. Devon-Downs. I've often tired of the jeaolous barbs my pro-life co-defendants have directed at me for being "over-dressed." I find it's best to make an excuse that is over their heads, "Oh, I know. Just after this I'm attending a Jocelyn Wildenstein unveiling," or "Carrie Donovan is having a Chanel knock-off sale in her garage."

I find that the better I dress for pro-life functions, the less likely anyone is to ask me to funnel gasoline or stuff pipes. You only have to do this once to know what a tedious task this is, and it absolutely wreaks havoc on Streisand French tips.

My question to Mrs. Bowers concerns fashion designers. My dear friend Jocelyn Wildenstein (I know, she's Jewish - but I'm working on her) invited me to a runway show in New York and I was shocked to see how many homosexuals are involved in that industry. Who knew? Since then I've cleared my closet of everyone but married, heterosexual designers - which leaves me with only Calvin Klein and Versace. I do want to support Versace, I feel so badly for the widowed Donatella.

Mrs. Bowers, are there any other reputable, heterosexual designers you could recommend? I also don't feel comfortable wearing female designers as they should be home with their children.

Thanks ever so much,

Mrs. Bovina Dawkins-Shoope

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