Dear Mrs. Bowers:

Jesus was really into piercing. You know, the hands feet and side. The thorn of crowns was also a really punk touch.

Until I can muster the courage to be Pierced Like Him, what other piercings and para-phernalia can I use to gain salvation? I am considering a Prince Albert. What gauge would be the most holy?

Wishing to be Penetrated in Peoria

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