Dear Mrs. Bowers,


Let me take this opportunity to applaud your support for allowing ALL Americans to own, wear and use guns of all sorts and varieties as they like, without contraint from a morally corrupt and hell-bound government. Recent events clearly have, once again, demonstrated the need for more guns in our schools. Christian teachers and good upright students should be able to protect themselves without compunction, and, furthermore could have offed those weirdos before all this mess happened. After all, an ounce of sin prevention is worth a pound of sin cure. As I'm sure you will agree.


But now you have a wonderful opportunity to help to strike down the unholy minions of the Prince of Darkness. You could develop a line of special ammunition ... Betty Bowers Blessed Bullets. Potent, pure projectiles designed by the best Christian woman that God ever put breath into. I am sure that all those proud, patriotic, good American Christians in the NRA would flock to such a product. Heaven knows, the NRA is about the only thing between us Good People and the Godless anarchists.

As that old hymn goes

"Onward Christian soldiers,
Marching as to war!
With the cross of Jesus,
Going on before!"

I must close now... I am overcome with the Spirit and my Uzi collection needs polishing.

Ima Winchester

 

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