||And speaking of our friends at the NRA, they are helping TRASH out with wonderful contributions to assist in our "Isn't It Time America Took Out The TRASH?" campaign that starts every July. Once again, we'll begin the evening with a pot luck supper and Biblical charades! The prize, a white hand-tooled patent leather ammunition belt with silver-look crucifix/bullet motif, will be given by last year's winner, Sister Heather Hardwick, who stumped the crowd last year with "Transmogrification." Because of her spirited cross-dressing clue for the first syllable, which most of us could have managed very nicely without, I have instituted the "No Trashy Gesticulations Rule" that will be strictly enforced (no exceptions).
During coffee, my dear Tennessee friend Dot, who suffered the unspeakable humiliation of having her husband leave her for a black she-male in Chattanooga with one glass eye, will display her crucifixion tableau vivant made entirely of Cool-Whip lids and Popsicle sticks. (Please don't mention her husband, as I have been sworn to secrecy and it never takes much to enrage her - after that little mishap two months ago, our insurance company has made me sign a "No Gun-Related Injury, Including Pistol Whipping" exclusionary rider.)
The highlight of the evening will, of course, be a videotaped speech by Friend-Of-Our-Lord Mr. Charlton Heston on arming our pets and the secrets of parlaying two somewhat different facial expressions into an entire movie career. Make plans to join us for our covered-dish supper - and remember: No foreign food (no exceptions)!