The good Lord changed the rules for salvation to exclude good works simply to accommodate my busy schedule! Praise!
But that hasn't stopped me from effortlessly setting the type of saintly example that puts other, lesser, Christians to shame.
After all, it isn't enough to simply be a better Christian than your friends and neighbors -- your job is not finished until you make sure they know that you are!
As America's most saved Baptist, I try to squeeze into my itinerant schedule a few moments every day to reach out to people who have been caught in the vortex of a false faith.Proselytizing to these lost lambs is what Jesus would wish us to do and often involves little more than having my secretary Miss Anne Thrope e-mail a known Catholic, Satanist, Presbyterian, Scientologist or other occult member to remind them that they are going straight to Hell while I am off having a fabulous lunch with my Personal Savior!
