As all of us know, people select to be gay. And what is so unexpected is the childhood at which a few of our most extravagant gay tykes chose to welcome this unethical lifestyle! While a one year old may not know that a round peg does not fit in a square hole – this doesn’t stop a lot of them from using round pegs as their ungodly role-models to pick a way of life that will keep them from fitting into your Christian Household. I can’t inform you the number of mothers and dads of children more youthful than 10, whom they used to be proud of, have come to me and said, „Mrs. Bowers, I have actually discovered that my kid appears to like to do swishy, girly things. What should I do?“ Well, let me inform you!
Kept in mind lavish and dear Sister in Christ Mrs. Dora Denkins came to me due to the fact that when her 4 year old kid played „house“ he insisted on method-acting the function of an immaculately groomed partner who used silk mixed drink dresses dawn-to-dusk and followed her drunken spouse in every regard (even behind the closed doors of their Christian marital bed room). While I praised the Biblical credibility of such a function, I explained to Mrs. Denkins that her son was certainly a submissive drag-queen in the making and, if delegated his own gadgets, would likely develop into a prepubescent Barbara Billingsly right under her horrified nose!
So many absurd moms and dads throw up their hands stating, „But, Betty, there is absolutely nothing we can do!“
Naturally, I wish to grab them by their shoulders and shake the Holy Spirit into their wishy-washy beings, and shout: „Children are not born gay! That is a lie broadcast by Satan himself from the extremely pit of Hell itself! It is a well known reality that homosexuals pick to be gay! And if your young child can pick to accept an immoral, ungodly lifestyle, they can darn-well choose TO MODIFICATION THEIR DAMNED LITTLE TWO-YEAR OLD MINDS!“
Has Your Toddler Impetuously Chosen to Embrace an Ungodly Lifestyle And Act Like A Damned Homo?
Take celebration KIDS‘ basic True or False test to learn if your kid is a candidate for heterosexual rehab!
- When you take your 5 year old boy to look at the action figures at Toys R United States, does he look longingly at the „Scandal Sheet Jean-Paul Gaultier Fabulous Manhattan Hostess Barbie,“ however scoffs, „How outré for evening, Mommy! Which cut is so ‚Pals‘ 2 seasons ago!“
- When your 1 years of age boy initially stands, is it to carry out a completely executed plié?
- Does 3 years of age Barbara transform her pink Barbie Townhouse into a Meineke Muffler franchise?
- Does 2 years of age little Bobby crawl out of his Baby Space jeans overalls, only to show up for feeding wearing a clever cashmere sweater set and a basic strand of pearls?
- Does your 4 year old little lady shun pretty lace for corduroy and rewire the electric outlets on your deck?
- When you have dinner visitors, does your 8 years of age young boy climb out of his bunk-bed, slip into something sequined, and slink down the staircase regaling your visitors with a dolorous, coquettish version of „The Man Who Escaped“ like a 4 foot, liquored-up Judy Garland?
- Does Daddy’s Little Princess skip tulle for tools?
- Does your 6 year old son shriek in dreadful apoplexy till you agree to wear Prada to the parent/teacher conference?
- Does your little young boy keep tossing out all your silk flower plans while you are sleeping and calling reputable florists to have whatever changed with perfectly selected exotic blossoms that are new to you, however he knows by name and fragrance?
- When your little daughter says her very first word, does she talk like a sailor?
- Does your 8 year old young boy grumble that your pumps are sporting „last season’s heel,“ that you look „too off-the-rack“ or sneer that „not even housefraus in Nebraska are using that exhausted Ralph Lauren scent“?
- When clearing out from under your little woman’s bed, do you invariably find long-neck beer bottles and blue chalk for pool hints?
- When you stroll into the room wearing a new dress, does your spouse barely notice, however your 7 years of age child breathlessly exclaims: „Cerise and aubergine! To-die-for, Mommy!“
- When you take your kids to Hit, does your little lady cry if you do not rent „Personal Best“ or does your little boy attempt to shoplift the wide-screen version of „Amusing Woman“?
If any response is Yes: Your willful child has actually made the option to accept an ungodly homosexual lifestyle and is going straight to Hell. Your only hope is celebration for Toddlers $4,000 Righteous Intervention. Sign up NOW!
If all answers are No: Your child is extremely crafty in hiding their decision to welcome an ungodly homosexual way of life, but is probably going straight to Hell anyhow as our Blessed Lord sees behind every closet door! Your only hope is BASH for Toddlers $4,000 Righteous Intervention. Register NOW!