Recently heterosexual Ricky Martin participating in a common red-blooded, heterosexual American male leisure activity: A giggly afternoon at a West Hollywood salon for much more kicky highlights
After many years bounding about South Beach, arm-in-arm (to downplay body-part entanglements for the sake of Christian civility) with unrepentant homosexuals, Ricky Martin has actually announced to the world that he is now 100% heterosexual! Praise the Lord! Ricky signs up with Kevin Spacey, Sean Hayes and Barry Diller as strident star alumni of Mrs. Betty Bowers world-renowned Ex-Gay Ministry, proving that the homosexual lifestyle is just a choice– made by your publicist!
Ex-Gay Ricky Martin uses the suggestive „penis press“ Latin dance trend in an effort to hire our brand-new president into the decadent gay circuit party scene. Luckily, Mrs. Bush Sr. stepped in prior to things go out of hand stating: „I have actually kept a watchful eye on George since he told me he wished to be a cheerleader.“
“ Truly, I want I might credit Ricky’s sudden and rather extreme transformation entirely to the Lord,“ confessed a candid and charming Mrs. Bowers at a celebration interview. „But we are likewise seeing another phenomenon at play here.“ Mrs. Bowers was mentioning a 5-year research study by the BASH „Stop Being A Damned Fag“ Institute for Christian Studies. The study conclusively discovered a direct connection in between record sales and sexual orientation. „Just look at that harlot Madonna,“ mentioned Mrs. Bowers to a packed pressroom. „When her CDs offered a lot– you know, back prior to she had all that cosmetic surgery to appear like Heather Locklear from a speeding car– she was brazenly flaunting the truth that she was a lesbian! Now, her CDs are met with tepid sales and the tramp is wed! Really, the Lord’s work through commercialism is not limited to Pat Robertson!“