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rebuiltGeorgia Crematorium Blames Jesus for Littering the Grounds with the Dead

Georgia Crematorium Blames Jesus for Littering the Grounds with the Dead

„The Lord Jesus informed us that the dead would bury the dead. Well, from the appearances of things, they didn’t do an excellent job.“

( NOBLE, GEORGIA) Ray Brent Marsh, 28, operator of the crematory where numerous dead bodies have been found told authorities the other day: „We were simply following the Lord Jesus. At Matthew 8:22 He commanded that we ‚Let the dead bury the dead‘ and, frankly, we didn’t wish to interfere.“ The truth that the dead apparently performed their responsibilities of disposing of their deceased brethren in such an indifferent manner, Mr. March declared, bespeaks of an appalling negligence to task that should not be imputed to the living.

In condemning the indolence of the North Georgia departed, Governor Roy Barnes told a news conference: „We in Georgia pride ourselves in the diligence of our labor force. It is regrettable that a few lazy corpses can give everybody a bad name. I make sure a number of these slapdash dead folks call themselves Christians and should aim to be Christ-like. Well, I have news for them: Jesus didn’t let a death obstruct of getting up and doing things.“

Billy Hendricks, owner of Dahlonega Drive-thru Funeral Home stated, „I have had numerous calls today from angry folks who desire their cash back on cremations. Well, I’m here to tell you that it ain’t going to happen. I’ve talked this over with our funeral home’s legal representatives. The cremation agreement only supplies that each of the loved ones will be burned. It do not say how or where. Knowing how the majority of these wicked folks lived their lives and just how much the Blessed Lord can’t stand the majority of us, it is practically certain that all of them are presently burning in hot and relentless flames of a sulfurous Hell as we speak. So, we have more than fulfilled our contractual responsibilities. No refunds. No exceptions.“

Church of God pastor Joshua Snake defended the owners of the crematory. „We take the Lord’s Word very seriously in these here parts of Georgia, my friend. Unless He asks us to do something troublesome, we do not ever question the Word of God. If the Lord’s inerrant Word tells us that the dead have it in them to bury the dead, it would be blasphemous for Christians not to provide an opportunity to do simply that. If they are so self-centered and idle that they will not do as Jesus commanded, then that is between them and the fiery pits of an everlasting Hell– not the local police department. Jesus told us that it is the responsibility of folks who have actually handed down to clear up their own mess. Yes, it appears that the dead didn’t do a great job of following through on something Jesus had particularly entrusted for them to do, but dead folks are notoriously undependable. To be sincere, after this little episode, my opinion of dead individuals has actually really suffered.“

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