As any Baptist will inform you, a mind unfettered by its own so-called „ideas“ is ripe for Republican and Scriptural brainwashing. „I make the most of the conventional inattentiveness of people who have actually lost consciousness on a sisal carpet after their seventh Cosmopolitan to deal with gays to the cathartic powers of medium voltage electro-shock mind cleansing,“ says Vivian Freep, George W. Bush‘ greatest advocate. „I’m informing you, beside a warm walnut-husk colonic, absolutely nothing cleans you out better than losing your mind. That way, these fairies can’t remember if they are running around town the other day as a bounding queer or a butt-scratching regular person. And by the time they get up, Marge and Heather have removed whatever that might tip them off. Praise!“
After Vivian has actually removed the poison of liberal individualism by setting the alarm radio to Hurry Limbaugh, the Television to FOX News and splaying Ann Coulter’s novels Slander!, Treason !!, Rape !!!, Murder!!!! and Yeast Infection!!!!! on the gay’s new Marge Davis driftwood and treasure chest coffee table, she turns her eagle eyes to the closet.
“ After seeing the clothing in many homo’s condominiums,“ observes Vivian, „I can comprehend why they are all in such a rush to get out of the closet!“